So I Need to be Careful What I Ask You For

I am man enough to admit that I haven’t been a very good blogger lately (yeah, yeah, I know some of you are thinking “lately?”) I haven’t posted much this summer, I bailed on doing NaBloPoMo in July, I’ve abandoned a few stories without finishing, and I’ve been terrible about responding to the comments left by the lovely half-dozen readers that are still here.

Thus, when a few people suggested that I go on a date with a woman who may or may not be a complete nutter, I decided I had to do it. Not just because, as the Foggy Dew noted, being hot can overcome a multitude of failures (yes, my friend, I paraphrased you; get over it.) But really because as my favourite blonde wrote “if [I] realllly loved [you]…[my] loyal readers..[I] would court her for sport… and record it here for our enjoyment.”

I am not a fan of dating for sport. It’s cruel, objectifying, demeaning, and I know Suicide Blonde didn’t mean it that way. I am no more a fan of the fade-away technique, slow, fast or intermediate speed, it just doesn’t work for me. As my favorite Yogi noted, I “don’t want to be one of THOSE guys who just disappears, further adding to the cynicism and doubt that’s now inherent in online dating.”

So I’m going on a date tonight. I’m gonna dress in a first date suit and wear a particular shade of optimism. I will keep my mind open… but yeah, I’ll be twittering during bathroom breaks… assuming that it lasts that long.

Insomnia Friday – Thoroughly Random Thoughts

Insomnia’s been intermittently kicking my ass for the better part of the last 20 years. I cannot recall a stretch that has been as bad as the last few months.

…in other news, Netflix on Demand has been a friendly and faithful companion lately.

…in still other news, the movie TAPS somehow has endured the years quite well.

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My Week in Bars…

To the lovely barmaid with the pixie cut who kept me in good beer at Fat Heads in Pittsburgh, you’re the kind of restaurant professional who makes me wish that I still ran a restaurant just so I could hire you.

To the blowhards sitting next to me at The Uptown in Chicago, I appreciate the very strong feelings you so loudly expressed about illegal immigration. By the by, I wonder who picked the avocados for that five dollar guacamole you were eating?

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So here’s a question for you all…

Recently I found myself in the company of a woman whose professional acquaintance I had just formally made after several email exchanges. After the business portion of the evening, she invited me to join her and several others for cocktails. The preponderance of the others were men, and it was evident that most of them had a more substantive social relationship with her than I, and I also suspect that most of them were quietly interested in her. At a certain point in the evening, this woman began to be less than delicate in concealing her knickers given the length of her skirt. I presume that the booze was the primary factor.

How does one discreetly tell a woman that she is being less than discreet?

How does one discreetly tell a woman he does not know well that it might be time for her to go home… especially given that she is surrounded by closet suitors who have known her longer?

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Get well soon, Tracee Hamilton. You are my favorite WaPo sports columnist these days, and I will miss your voice.

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The One Question Meme: if you could create a version of Netflix that would enable you to have short term rentals of something on a revolving basis, what would it be?

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Something you should know about drinks…

If you’ve ever had a Bellini, chances are you’ve not had a good one. The Bellini is perhaps the simplest of all classic cocktails with only two ingredients, prosecco and white peach puree. It is also one of the most commonly mishandled where people substitute fresh peach puree with something from a can or even worse – fucking wretched Peach Schnapps. Invented by Giuseppi Cipriani in 1948 at Harry’s Bar in Venice, Italy, the Bellini, when made with fresh and honest ingredients and poured into a proper champagne flute, immediately evokes elegance and sophistication.

• 3 white peaches peeled and diced
• 1 bottle of champagne
• In a blender, puree the peaches. (If you’re like me and sensitive to pulp then run the peach puree through cheese cloth after blending.) Pour 1 ounce of pureed peach into a flute and top with 4 ounces of champagne.

I have also made variations on the Bellini with pears, green apples, and mangoes. The most import thing is to get good and in-season fruit.

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This post is tacit acknowledgement that there is a small chance that I am going to participate in NaBloPoMo for July… I gotta do something to get myself above my non-writing / non-blogging rut.

Second Blogiversary – Welcome to the Virtual Party Part II

In celebration of the 2 year blogiversary, I decided to open the phone lines for all questions… apparently I also decided to start writing like a talk-radio host.  I wish to thank everyone for their kind wishes and thoughtful questions.  The answers, which have been split into two posts for better readability (part I is here,) follow.

1. From Carla of Whip My Assets: What is one question nobody asked that you wish somebody had? It’s really funny that you should ask me that question because I have long used that question as the last query when I am interviewing.  I think it is a terrific question to really get inside someone’s head.  I would have loved for someone to have asked “what happens when the immovable object meets the irresistible force?”
2. From another reader without a blog: What food would you cook for a non foodie father for father’s day? The trick to cooking for non foodie people is to do something that combines classical flavors with techniques and ingredients that will keep you interested.  Braised Short Ribs with Truffled French Fries satisfies those needs to my way of thinking.
3. From my favorite Bah-stan Blogg-ahr, Megabrooke of Skrinkering Hearts: Here’s kind of a silly one, because my head is a bit in the clouds this week.  What TV shows do you regularly tune in to? The only appointment television I watch, via the internet machine and generally the following day, is The Rachel Maddow Show, The Daily Show, Friday Night Lights, Weeds, Real Time with Bill Maher, and Southland.  I am also a big fan of, but won’t be terribly disappointed if I miss, the following: Modern Family, Burn Notice, and In Plain Sight.
4. From a reader who has a blog but never leaves the link in her comments so I will omit it here in an abundance of caution: At what point in a dating relationship do you throw caution into the wind? I think that on some level the mere act of dating, in the face of all contrary evidence, is an exercise in optimism that throws caution to the wind just by inviting and accepting.  That was a more philosophical answer; the pragmatic version is probably “too often, too early, and I really wouldn’t have it any other way.”
5. From a Florida blogger you should be reading, Planet Dan-E: Simple, but kind of dumb, question: What is it exactly that you do? Restaurant consultant? Private chef? Event planner? Some combination of the above? Yes.
6. The lovely Rahree has a couple of questions: what’s your summer go-to home dinner, when you want something tasty but with little effort? And The meaning of life? Clue me in, please? If it’s just me, I am happy to slice a couple of the tomatoes I always keep in the house during the summer, pair them with some mozzarella and basil and call it a day… after drizzles of olive oil balsamic, and sprinkles of sea salt and fresh black pepper.  If I have guest(s), I am going to the grill with whatever proteins I have around.

All of the following questions are from email and shall be anonymous

1. What was the weirdest thing you did in high school? It’s a jump ball.  I once didn’t wash the socks I wore for an entire football season because we were going undefeated and I didn’t want to change the karma/luck associated with them.  In my freshman year, all students had to take a typing class in which we would select various periodicals to use as text to type.  Everyone tried to get there early to grab a Sports Illustrated; I was happy with the New Yorker. On dress-down Fridays and during the warm weather months, I would frequently wear a pair of shockingly yellow linen trousers because my senior big brother often did.
2. How many cigars do you smoke a day, a week? I usually smoke about a cigar a day, though sometimes I will go days without, and other times I have smoked several in day.  A week usually averages 8 give or take a couple.
3. What do you suck at doing but wish that you could do well? I cannot carry a note with the help of a forklift.  I do pretty well at self-diagnosis, but I suck at self repairs.  I cannot for the life of me consistently make a good pot of rice.  I am a terrible shortstop.  Though I think I give good email, I am frequently terrible at the prompt reply.  Given that last sentence, I am not so good at discussing my faults without couching them in a more favorable context.
4. What is your biggest pet peeve in restaurants? If you force me to narrow it down to one, it is bad management – all bad outcomes in the front of the house extend from bad management.
5. Who would play you in a movie about your life? Larenz Tate, a younger Andre Brougher, Don Cheadle if I am really lucky.

Second Blogiversary – Welcome to the Virtual Party Part I

In celebration of the 2 year blogiversary, I decided to open the phone lines for all questions… apparently I also decided to start writing like a talk-radio host.  I wish to thank everyone for their kind wishes and thoughtful questions.  The answers, which have been split into two posts for better readability, follow.

1. Amalgam of three questions from anonymous email: How much of the bullshit that you write about yourself is true / to what degree do you think people believe the idealized version of yourself that you portray? As there is no virtue in responding to rudeness in kind, I will keep my initial thoughts to myself.  In answer to your questions, there may be some minor elements of stories that I alter/augment/omit, but only for the purpose of literary cohesion / continuity.  I have never omitted a substantive element of a story or made adjustment for the purposes of self-aggrandizement.  The degree to which other people assign truth… I will not pretend to give voice to that which exists in the minds of other people.  As a general note, what Jon Stewart said.
2. From Christina of Musings, Graces, and Fate: Here is my question, what food did you not like when you were younger but can’t get enough of now? Tomatoes.  I was always an adventurous eater as a child but for some reason tomatoes were anathema to me.  Now, just give me an heirloom tomato and some sea salt and I am a happy kid.
3. From Foilwoman: as someone who played the cello as a youth, did you practice because your mother made you practice or because you wanted to practice?  And if it was the former, how did your mother achieve that? I started playing the cello because I knew it was different and I believed it to be more difficult than most instruments.  It was an effort to stand apart from the crowd and with the clarity of hindsight, I can state that the effort was inspired, at least in part, by some insecurity from being the only black male in the school.  I needed no inspiration to practice because I had an internal desire to prove something.
4. From an anonymous email: can you recommend a good vegetarian restaurant (needn’t be purely vegetarian — so long as there are some interesting vegetarian dishes — most place have a dish or two as an afterthought. CityZen, Palena, and Restaurant Eve, Passage to India, all do an excellent job with vegetarian dishes and treat non-meat eaters with high regard.  On the more casual side, I am a big fan of Regent Thai, and Hollywood East/
5. From the blogger most likely to make me blush, City Girl asks: What inspires you to write? To cook? I wish that I had a better answer, but the inelegant truth is that I have no idea what would happen to me if I stopped cooking or writing.  I write to help me stay sane and almost exclusively for me.  I cook to express art, love for friends, and because I believe on some level that it is what I was born to do.
6. From an anonymous email: Why did you leave me in a gentleman’s club last week? First, the strip joint was your idea.  Second, I didn’t leave you alone; the Only Slightly Sleazy Lobbyist was there with you. Third, I got a phone call from a woman who wanted to remove her clothes for me without the explicit exchange of cash… oh and I I’d been drinking just long enough to think that was a good idea.
7. From an anonymous email: What was the first moment the light bulb went on? I love questions that are pointed yet sufficiently ambiguous that how the respondent chooses to answer tells one at least as much as the answer itself.  My advanced writing instructor (junior year of high school) once gave me an F on an essay.  It was lazily and sloppily written but probably didn’t deserve a failing grade, so I went to ask him about it. Dr. M laced into me with a lightly profanity laced tirade about his fatigue with my unfulfilled potential. He told me that “writers don’t have a choice, they just are, and you’re a Writer. Writers get an F on that dribble you scribbled the night before it was due, other people might get a C. I decided that I need to treat you like a Writer.” It got a lot brighter in my head right then.
8. From C of Hilarity in Shoes: It’s spring and I’m going to the farmers market on Sunday.  What should I cook with my haul that is seasonal and delicious? The beauty of this time of year is that the fruits and vegetables straddle the line between spring and summer.  I am a big fan of stinging nettle risotto with sweet corn and crispy shallots… and yes, I will work on writing that recipe down for you.
9. From the irascible LiLu: Why on earth haven’t you started a dictionary for all the words we’ve invented over the years? I wish that I could say that I’ve been waiting on you so we could collaborate on the effort, but alas, the true reason is #Fail.
10. From the eponymous and generally awesome Lemon Gloria: Could you recommend a couple bottles of red wine in the $10-20 price range? I generally try to avoid making specific recommendations as that would limit me to the world of wines that are most commonly available.  Since my personal preferences are for boutique wines which by definition have small productions, that is particularly limiting.  That being said, I am a big fan of Sipino Pinot Noir, Andrew Murray Tour Les Jour Syrah, Alto Moncaya Veraton Garnacha (a little more than $20 but often on sale,) and even though this is a sparkling rosé, I am going to include the La Torderra Prosecco Rosato because it is one of my favorite summertime quaffs.
11. From a reader without a blog: What does one have to do to have a drink with you? Generally speaking it’s pretty easy – just ask.  Additionally, there is always the option of attending one of the Blogger Happy Hours.

Quick Restaurant Hits from Your Friendly Neighborhood Refugee

Before we get into some bite sized restaurant nuggets, I would like to remind you all that I am celebrating the 2^nd blogiversary tomorrow with an open question session and the window is still open to ask whatever.  Thank you to all of you who have sent email questions and left them in the comments already.  Feel free to ask more than one, the list is getting long but this is a joint celebration.

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Ardeo may not be on my list for anything else (inconsistency being the only constant will do that to a place in the same neighborhood as Palena) but their $25 (mimosas included) brunch might be one of the better values in the city.

Blacksalt is the reigning champion of seafood places in this area – at least in my mind – however, a recent lunch and dinner at Kinkead’s seem to indicate that they want to make an “everyone thought they were done” run at the title à la George Foreman.

The Palm (downtown location) feels about as dated as the first season of West Wing.  Their Prime Bites happy hour (really tasty noshes for $3.50 from 4:30 – 6:30 and after 9pm) however, lightens the mood but not so much the wallet.  The crowd is more interesting during the later portion of the evening… but that shocks no one.

Hudson has always had the feel of a place that is too hip by half for my tastes but they do make a damn fine Manhattan and I am still thinking about their bbq chicken pizza three days later.

I should have seen the problems coming when a recent first date countered with Brasserie Beck after my initial suggestion of Granville Moore’s. Both places have lost a step (more important for the former which is more expensive and doesn’t have the character of the latter) but she wanted Moules & Frites.  I’ve seen flashes of brilliance at Beck, but more commonly they yo-yo between visits and often on the same night.  My date was a bit pretentious, precious, and thought I should be way too grateful for the privilege, the woman was the same way… ba-dum-bum.

Mendocino Grille is still my favorite place to eat in the bastion of culinary mediocrity that is Georgetown, but am I the only one who really misses Barry Koslow’s hand at the stove?

Calling Matisse Café the best restaurant in Tenleytown may be similar to saying that they are the best team in the worst league in the city.  Saying that my last meal there makes me wish that I lived just a bit closer or they were in a more interesting part of the city, that’s a better compliment.

Note to Restaurateurs: I took a poll… even my deaf friends find your website music annoying.

Happy Blogiversary to Me – You’re Invited to the Virtual Party

I missed my blogiversary – it passed last Friday – and I am not sure if it means anything that it just kinda slipped my mind.  I will leave that question to another time because I still wish to acknowledge the two years that I have been writing in this space.

This connection has been a real and important part of my life and I value all of the people who stop by to read, comment, cajole, support, question, challenge, or engage.  All of you form the foundation of an e-community that as just as valuable to me as those with whom I share brick and mortar community that had origins in this space.

Last year I asked everyone, readers, regulars, and lurkers alike to leave me a comment as an anniversary present.  Someone who shall remain nameless called that selfish and vainglorious, eh, I thought that it was harmless enough.  However, on this second blogiversary, we shall make the celebration a bit more reciprocal and inclusive.  From now until Friday*, I am collecting questions.  Leave them in the comments, send me an email** (restaurantrefugee at gmail dot com) and ask me anything you want to know about me, the blog, restaurants, wine, or any other area that might pique your curiosity.  The collection of questions and answers will be posted on Friday, the designated day of belated celebration.

Thanks for the last two years; it’s been a helluva lot cheaper than therapy.

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* You can send questions anytime you like, they just won’t be in the anniversary post unless I get them before it goes live on Friday.   As time permits, I will update the post to include questions received after Friday.

** All emails will be treated as confidential unless you indicate otherwise.